Jared
by GRACE5
Summary: Tony leaves the team, Ziva, and D.C. after the loss of his daughter. But when he comes back he's forced to deal with his emotions. Tiva. On Hiatus
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

"You excited to be going back?" Emilio asked as he looked to his boss.

"Not really." Tony shrugged as he fidgeted with his watch.

"How long has it been since you've talked to them?" Emilio continued to question as he and Tony buckled their seatbelts.

"We talk all the time." Tony said as he looked out the window, waiting for the plane to pull away from the gate.

"E-mail doesn't count." He laughed as he watched Tony's jaw clench.

"Then, I don't know." Tony said as he looked at his field agent. "Is there something you want to know, Azzari?"

"Just trying to figure you out." Emilio grinned and continued to watch Tony. A wail from a baby erupted behind them and Tony winced. "You okay?"

"Fine." Tony said in a clipped tone as he looked back out the window. The infant continued to cry as the plane made its way down the runway then into the air.

"You have kids?" He tested seeing how Tony's whole body had tensed when the baby started crying.

Tony bit his bottom lip as he gazed out the window. The baby was soon quieted by her parents and several hushed 'thank you's came from passengers. Tony turned his gaze to his bare hands and sighed.

"Boss?"

"What?" Tony asked as he looked at Emilio.

"Any kids?" he repeated as he pulled out his wallet and showed Tony a picture of his two girls.

"Cute." Tony smiled as he held his eyes on the photo. "What are their names?"

"Olivia and Sophia." Emilio smiled as he pointed to each girl. "5 and 2."

"Handful?" Tony laughed as Emilio secured the picture back in his wallet.

"To say the least." He grinned, he'd never actually heard Tony really laugh before. "Thank God for my wife."

"Yeah." Tony nodded. Emilio noticed how Tony rubbed his left ringer finger, unsure of what would be there.

"What about you?" Emilio asked and Tony subtly tensed again. "Come'on, it's a long flight."

"I know." Tony grunted softly as he rested his head back against the seat.

"Julia?" Emilio whispered and Tony's head whipped sideways to look at him. "I saw your tattoo when you were changing your shirt at your desk one day. Thought it was maybe an ex-girl. She your daughter?"

"Kinda." Tony mumbled.

"Step-daughter?"

"She was stillborn, okay?" Tony growled with narrowed, fiery green eyes.

"Oh God." Emilio breathed out as he gaped at Tony. "I'm-."

"Sorry. Yeah, I know." Tony said through clenched teeth as he pulled his iPod from his bag. "I'm gonna try and get some sleep."

"Yeah, sure." He nodded as he watched Tony lean against the side of the plane and gaze out the window for the rest of the flight.

~*Washington D.C.*~

"Tony, Tony, Tony!" Abby chanted as he stepped out from the airport and she jumped him and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Oh, Tony."

"Hey Abby." Tony smiled as he removed himself from her embrace. "This is Emilio Azzari, my senior field agent."

"Italian?" Abby laughed noting Tony's serious attitude.

"Yes ma'am." He smirked.

"Don't call me ma'am." She glared but soon smiled. "Abby."

"Nice to meet you, Abby." Emilio said as he held out his hand but she hugged him tight instead.

"Where are you parked?" Tony asked looking up and down the street illegally parked cars.

"McGee's down there." Abby said pointing to the Charger. "What's the rush?"

"Work to be done." Tony shrugged as he picked up his bag and headed towards the Charger.

"What's wrong with him?" Abby frowned as she watched Tony's back.

"Hasn't he always been this way?" Emilio laughed as he picked up his bag and walked with Abby to the car.

"Tony? No way. He's a goof ball." Abby beamed. "Always joking, making movie references, teasing McGee." Abby reminisced and looked from Tony who was loading his bag in the trunk to Emilio. "Stealing kisses from Ziva."

"Ziva?" Emilio said with a confused look as they reached the car and Tony slammed the trunk shut and glared at the two. "Who's she?"

"He hasn't told you?" Abby gasped. "Tony?"

"What?" Tony asked as he got into the seat behind McGee and slammed the door shut.

"Sorry about him." Abby offered and Emilio laughed.

"He's just being Tony." Emilio shrugged and got in the seat next to his boss.

~*Naval Base*~

"DiNozzo." Gibbs greeted as he entered the naval base at the same time, with a fresh cup of coffee. "Good to see you."

"You too, Boss." Tony smiled as he shook Gibbs' free hand and they headed to the elevators.

"Not your boss." Gibbs said as they stepped into the elevator.

"This is Agent Emilio Azzari." Tony said motioning to Emilio. "Azzari, this is Agent Gibbs."

"Good to meet you." Emilio smiled and shook Gibbs' hand.

"Yeah." Gibbs said as they stepped off the elevator and a heavily pregnant woman waddled in front of them.

"Whoa, she looks like she's just about ready to pop." Emilio said and the woman glared at him over her shoulder.

"You may want to keep your voice down. She'll kill you." McGee laughed as he patted Emilio's shoulder and walked by him to his desk.

"Know her, Boss?" Emilio smirked and turned to Tony who was standing there staring.

"Kinda." Tony said as he looked back to the woman.

"Tony." She said finally noticing the man staring at her. She struggled to stand from her desk and walked over him to hug him but he stepped back.

"I can't." Tony said as he stared at her bulging stomach. "I'm going to go for coffee. You want some?" He asked as he continued to retreat. "No? Okay." He said as he took the stairs.

"I'm Emilio Azzari." He said offering his hand to the dark haired beauty. "Tony's senior field agent."

"Ziva David." She smiled weakly shaking his hand.

"Oh, Ziva." Emilio said as he looked to Abby and she nodded. "Nice to meet you."

"I'm going to go find DiNozzo." Gibbs said as he brushed past them and into the stairwell. Gibbs took a flight of stairs down and stopped to observe Tony who was sitting on the stairs with his head in his hands, maybe even crying. "You good, DiNozzo?"

"Yeah, I'm good." Tony nodded as he removed his hands from his face but not looking back to Gibbs.

"You sure?" Gibbs asked sitting next to Tony.

"Yeah." Tony said looking sideways at Gibbs. He glared back him and Tony cracked. "She's having another baby."

"That's how they knew you didn't read their emails." Gibbs said and Tony gave him a questioning look. "They told you. They called too."

"I don't remember that." Tony scowled as he played with his hands.

"They tried hard too." Gibbs added and Tony nodded.

"Who's the guy?" Tony asked as he itched his left ringer finger.

"I know I told you to keep it out of the office." Gibbs said looking at Tony softly this time. "But go talk to her."

"Now?" Tony laughed.

"Now." Gibbs nodded and Tony pushed himself from the stairs.

"I'm gettin' old." Tony said as his knees cracked and he walked slowly up the stairs.

~*Squad Room*~

"So this awkward." Emilio said as he shifted his weight and Abby and Ziva glared at him.

"What exactly do you know about Tony?" Abby asked

"Serious guy. Doesn't laugh or smile much. Gets to work before us, leaves after us." Emilio said. "Soft spot for kids."

"He has changed a lot." Ziva said as she rubbed her stomach.

"Does he chase girls?" Abby asked and glanced to Ziva who was equally curious.

"I've never seen him even pretend to be interested in women." Emilio said. "Except for today."

"What happened today?" Ziva asked.

"He saw you." Emilio said and Tony emerged from the stairwell and walked over to the group.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

"Hey." Tony said and he stood between Abby and Emilio but focused his gaze on Ziva.

"Hey." They responded and Tony glanced to Abby who took the hint.

"Come'on Emilio, I'll show you my lab." Abby said and Emilio nodded. "Timmy'll help." She said as she walked by McGee's desk and drug him with her.

"How have you been?" Ziva asked as she shifted her weight and placed her hand on her back.

"Sit down, I remember last time-." He was going to say how he remembered how sore her feet were and how much her back hurt from her last pregnancy, but cut himself off. "I remember last time." He repeated with a hitch in his voice.

"I'm fine." Ziva protested.

"Sit down." He said sternly and Ziva nodded and sat at her desk. "When are you due?"

"Yesterday." She said as she watched him role his old chair over towards her desk.

"He a good guy?" Tony asked.

"He is a great guy." Ziva said as she observed Tony's face. He looked so much older than the last time she'd seen him and his eyes were no longer a fun green but a dull borderline grey.

"Good." Tony said swallowing hard as he looked down in his lap. "I'm happy for you, Ziva."

"You did not read any of my emails or listen to my voicemails did you?" Ziva sighed.

"I tried." Tony said as the picture by her computer caught his eyes. It was one of them, on their wedding day.

"You should have." She scolded as she glared at him. "It took six months to get you back here, six months too many."

"We have a case." Tony said confused by Ziva's sudden anger.

"No, we made it up." Ziva said as she rubbed her stomach, distracting Tony until she spoke again. "So you would come back and we could talk to you."

"What's so important?" Tony asked frustrated.

"I wanted you to be here when the baby's born." Ziva said stomping her foot under her desk at him.

"Why would you want that?" Tony choked out as his eyes glazed over. "Why would you do that to me? It's killing me to see you pregnant with another man's child. I can't take much more."

"Tony-." She tried to cut him off as her eyes watered from the raw hurt in his voice and on his face.

"I don't think I can see you holding another man's child." Tony continued, ignoring her plea. "Not after Julia."

"Tony, please listen to me." Ziva said as she reached for his hand and intertwined their fingers.

"If there's not a case, I think I'm gonna go back to San Diego." Tony said and tried to stand from his chair.

"No, you are not." Ziva said yanking him back down by his hand. "You are going to listen to me."

"Ziva, please." Tony whined. "I'm glad you've moved on and you're having another baby with a great guy. But I'm not ready to hear about it."

"Well you are going to." She said gripping his hand tighter. "I have emailed you, McGee has, Abby has, Gibbs may have. We've called."

"Trust me, I'll actually read them next time." Tony said his eyes still pleading to let him go.

"We were all trying to tell you the same thing." Ziva said with a gentle smile.

"What's that?" Tony asked confused.

"This baby," She held her finger to his mouth before he could protest. "Is yours."

"No, it's not." Tony said simply. "We've been divorced for three years. We lost our baby almost four years ago."

"9 months ago, Tony." Ziva said as she squeezed his hand. "We were drunk and upset." She trailed off knowing she'd jogged his memory.

"It took us a while to conceive Julia." Tony reminded her, still not believing her. "No way one drunk night-."

"You are the only man I have been with in over a decade." Ziva glared squeezing his hand harder and causing him to whimper. "And you are going to be in the delivery room."

"No." Tony said shaking his head and he tried to pull away but she refused to let go of his hand. "I won't, not again."

"Tony, please." Ziva said as she stood from her desk and walked closer to him. Still not letting go of his hand. "I need you to be there."

"I can't." Tony said softly as she sat herself in his lap and rested their joined hands on her rounded stomach. "I can't be in that room again and hear nothing but our tears."

"Jared is fine, Tony." Ziva whispered as she rested her head on his shoulder and nuzzled his neck.

"Jared?" Tony questioned in a soft voice as he stroked his ex-wife's stomach.

"Jared Anthony DiNozzo." Ziva whispered against his ear and he shivered. "Just like we decided years ago."

"Jared." Tony repeated as Ziva kissed behind his ear. "I don't know what you want me to say."

"I want you to tell me how you are feeling, how you felt." Ziva pleaded. "We never talked after Julia, just fought and cried, and that destroyed us."

"I live in San Diego." Tony said distracted by the flutter of kicks beneath his hand. "I was ready to be a father four years ago, not now."

"Whether you are ready or not you are going to be in the delivery room to hear our son's first cries." Ziva said as she turned his face to look at her. "I'm not letting your hand go until then."

"You don't know when you're going to go into labor though." Tony whined and she smiled.

"My C-section is scheduled for later today." Ziva smiled as she stroked his jaw.

"Ziva." Tony whimpered as she rested her forehead against his temple.

"We tried to tell you, Tony, we all did." She whispered against his cheek as she squeezed his hand again.

"I got that." Tony said as he tried to pull his hand away but she wouldn't let him.

"You are not going anywhere." Ziva reminded him. "Tony, please talk to me."

"I go to bed every night thinking about you and Julia. I dream every night about you and Julia. I wake up every morning thinking about you and Julia." Tony sighed. "What more do you want me to say?"

"How you feel." She said as kissed his forehead.

"I don't." Tony shrugged. "I'm fine."

"You are not." She seethed. "I can tell. I know you better than any one, Tony."

"How are you?" he asked instead.

"I am fine. I am not having Jared to replace Julia." Ziva said as she made sure to hold his gaze. "She will always be our first baby."

"I know." Tony nodded. "I'm just surprised you're having another baby. Are you happy?"

"I'm nervous." Ziva admitted as she shifted in Tony's lap. "But Jared is healthy. He often gets in trouble for not staying still during sonograms. He moves around constantly and makes me go to the bathroom at least once an hour."

"That's good." Tony said as he ran his hand down her side. "He sounds like a handful."

"Like his father." She whispered as she kissed his forehead.

"What are you expecting from me?" Tony asked as he rested his head on her shoulder.

"I do not know yet." She said as she stroked the hair on the back of his neck. "I just want you to be here for his birth."

"Okay." Tony whispered against her neck and yawned.

"When was the last time you slept?"

"On the plane." Tony yawned again, laughing as a particularly hard kick came from Ziva's stomach.

"I mean really slept." Ziva said as she moved her hand to his neck and gently massaged.

"It's been awhile." Tony sighed his eyes growing heavy.

"Come'on you two." Gibbs said startling the pair. "Let's go to the hospital."

"Okay." Ziva said as she removed herself from Tony's lap. She grabbed the bag behind her desk and followed Gibbs to the elevator, dragging Tony by his hand.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

"You okay, Tony?" Ziva asked as she ran her thumb over his knuckles.

"No." Tony said. "I thought I was coming to D.C. for a case. Instead you're having a baby."

"I was hoping you would be happy when you found out we were having another child." Ziva sighed as she fidgeted with her blanket. "That you'd come back home."

"I don't know." Tony sighed distracted by the fetal monitor. His gaze flickered between her and the heart monitor. "Do you have a crib?"

"Yes, Tony, I have the nursery ready." Ziva smiled. "It is a nautical theme."

"What room is it?" Tony whispered as Ziva fidgeted trying to get comfortable.

"I moved." Ziva said as she rubbed her stomach trying to calm the rowdy baby. "It is in the suburbs. Big backyard."

"Safe?" Tony questioned, curious as to what ruckus Jared was causing.

"Of course." Ziva said as she ran her hand through his hair. "Good schools too."

"No boarding schools." Tony practically ordered and Ziva laughed.

"I know." She smiled and winced after a particularly hard kick. "Although I am tempted."

"Can I feel?" Tony asked as he played with the hem of her blanket.

"Yes, please." Ziva grinned excited to see the curiosity in Tony's eyes.

Tony smiled shyly and pulled the blanket just below her stomach. Ziva nodded as he hesitated to pull her gown up. He laughed as he heard her heart monitor speed up when he pulled the gown over her stomach resting just below her swollen breasts.

"You're huge." Tony said as he ran his hand over the swell of his son.

"Not something I like to hear, DiNozzo." Ziva joked as his finger ran over her belly button.

"Sorry." Tony said as he cupped her stomach and looked up at her. "Where's he kicking?"

"Right here." Ziva said as she took her ex-husband's hand and brought it to the opposite side of her stomach.

"Strong." Tony said spreading his fingers wide over her stomach.

"Sometimes you can see his foot pressed against my side." Ziva said and Tony looked up at her in horror.

"What?" he laughed as he removed his hand expecting to see a foot.

"It's neat actually." Ziva said as she stroked her stomach while Tony continued to stare.

"Bet it makes it hard to sleep." Tony said placing his hand back on her stomach.

"Yes." Ziva laughed but found Tony wasn't paying attention to her any more. "Tony?"

"Hm?" Tony asked as he traced shapes on her stomach.

"Do you like the name?" She asked and he looked up to her.

"I like Jared Magnum better." Tony grinned. "But I remember that hormonal massacre."

"You are exaggerating." Ziva laughed and Tony grinned.

"You threw a hot iron at me because you thought I was trying to punish our child." Tony grinned. "Then you broke down into tears and that turned into hot make up sex."

"You are making this up." Ziva giggled and Tony shook his head.

"You know damn well you were a hormonal mess." Tony said and Ziva blushed. "What about this time?"

"I was perfectly normal." Ziva pouted and Tony laughed. "Except the one time I threw my cup of tea at McGee."

"You did?" Tony grinned proudly.

"Good afternoon Ms. DiNozzo." A doctor said as he entered the hospital room and glanced between Ziva and Tony. "And?"

"Anthony DiNozzo." Tony said as the doctor held his hand out and Tony shook it.

"The father?" the doctor questioned as he looked to Ziva.

"Yes." Ziva said as she took Tony's hand again and squeezed it.

"Alright, everything is going well." The doctor said as he checked over the monitors. "Jared is looking good, very strong heart beat. Lots of movement?"

"Yes." Ziva said as she went to stroke her stomach and realized it was still bare. "Sorry." Ziva said and pulled her gown back over stomach.

"It's fine." He laughed and flipped through her chart. "Any questions before we move you into the operation room?"

"Nope." Ziva said with an excited smile and looked to Tony.

"I'm good." Tony said and the doctor nodded and left. "He's like 12."

"He is a good doctor, Tony." Ziva glared. "What?" she asked noticing the distant look in his eyes.

"Do you remember that night?" Tony asked looking to her, an embarrassed look on his face. "The night he was conceived?"

"For the most part." Ziva smiled as a faint blush settled in Tony's cheeks. "Why?"

"I was a drunk, crying, babbling mess." Tony sighed as he dropped his forehead to the bed. "So were you."

"It was a rough night, Tony." Ziva laughed as she stroked his hair. Tony grumbled something into bed and laughed. "What?"

"This is ridiculous." Tony said looking up at her.

"What is?" She asked worried and gripped his hand tighter.

"Everything, this baby." Tony said motioning to her stomach. "Coming here thinking we have a major case but really you're having a baby, my baby."

"You do not believe me?" Ziva glared dropping his hand.

"I don't know." Tony sighed and looked up when her heart monitor started to pick up. "Zi, don't cry." Tony pleaded as he scooted further up the bed and reached up to wipe the tears away.

"How can you not believe me?" She cried trying to calm her self. "It is your baby. I would not lie to you about this. Not after everything we have been through." She continued as he cupped her cheek. "You divorced me, Tony, and then eight months ago you move across the country! Why?"

"You deserve more than I have to offer, Ziva." Tony growled as he wiped away another tear. "Why do you refuse to accept that?"

"Anthony." She whispered knowing he loved when she used his given name, well when she wasn't screaming at him. "You have saved my life many times, always had my back, risked yours to go to Africa to avenge me." When he opened his mouth to protest she stopped him. "You are my best friend, Tony. I do not care about what _you_ think I deserve, I need you."

"Ziva." Tony started but stopped when Ziva punched his arm. "Ow. What was that for?"

"Making me cry." She glared.

"Sorry." Tony smiled as he stroked her cheek with the pad of his thumb causing her heart rate to jump. He grinned and went to open his mouth but she punched him again. "And that?"

"Being you." She smiled shyly. "And not believing that Jared is yours." She said another wave of anger coming. "You ass! Why would you think I would do that to you? After everything we went through with Julia! How much that hurt you, destroyed you, destroyed us! You still have not talked to me truthfully about how you feel, you are always dodging it."

"Ziva, calm down." Tony said trying to bite back his laughter from her mood swings. "I'm not dodging anything. And this certainly is not the time to discuss it."

"And why not?" Ziva asked with a glare.

"Because you're less than an hour from delivering Jared." Tony said as he pushed her hair back.

"Just give me three emotions, Tony, the strongest ones you felt after Julia." Ziva pleaded with him.

"Fine." Tony said as he bit his lip and looked away for a moment in thought. "Grief. Failure. Helplessness."

"Failure?" Ziva questioned with a sob.

"Ready, Ms. DiNozzo?" a nurse asked as she entered the room before Tony could continue.

"Yes, of course." Ziva said as she took Tony's hand and squeezed it. "Are you coming?"

"Yeah." Tony said with a smile.

~*Delivery Room*~

"Here you go Dad." The nurse smiled as she placed the screaming newborn in Tony's arms.

"He's okay, right?" Tony asked with watery eyes as he gazed down at the baby, rocking him gently to soothe the screams.

"Yes, he's perfect." She smiled.

"Yeah he is." Tony whispered as he stepped closer to Ziva.

"He's beautiful." Ziva said as Tony tilted the baby so she could see him.

"Of course." Tony agreed softly as he kissed Jared's forehead.

The little boy soon quieted in his father's arms. Tony sighed and continued to gently rock the baby as he whispered to him. Jared ignored Tony's words and continued to squirm slightly in his arms. Ziva did her best to keep her patience as Tony hogged Jared.

"Can I have him now, Tony?" Ziva asked softly as they entered the recovery room.

"Yeah, sure." Tony said as he broke his gaze from the newborn and placed him in Ziva's arms. "Sorry."

"Do not be sorry." Ziva said as she stroked the newborns cheek.

**WARNING: RANT ABOUT 7.21 (So spoilers if you haven't seen it)**

**So if you read my latest one shot "Right" you may or may not have read that I probably won't be writing any more NCIS. But this was already half way written so I decided to finish it and post it. Trust me, it was very hard to do while watching this latest episode. **

**But for real! Maybe it's me but I don't understand why Tony was so obsessed with that woman. Did I miss something? Were they in a relationship before and I missed that part? If not, then I just don't get how he could allow himself to feel that way for her. **

**Oh wait, they change his character every episode. Any guesses who he'll be next week? I find it amazing that he couldn't live without Ziva in 7.1 and told her that and now they're just asses to each other.**

**I really want Ziva to just be over him, some Tiva fan right? But I want him to know that she cared about him and he effed up and now she's over it. Maybe that'll be my next one shot. Then I'll kill Tony off. Haha just kidding…maybe.**

**But I will continue to watch NCIS in high hopes that it gets better. Not just the Tiva but the storylines and cases in general. **

**Please don't flame, I just need to vent. **


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